I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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