So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
