I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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