don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
