i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
