New low: just hacked my moms facebook
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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