I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
