I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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