He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
