I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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