So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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