dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
