I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
We smell like vodka and hangover
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