Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize