is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
