Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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