apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
