why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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