I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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