that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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