Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
