omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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