Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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