Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize