Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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