I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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