apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
