toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
