Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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