yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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