I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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