My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
