In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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