You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
