Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
