Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize