I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
