can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
