I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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