You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
