if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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