i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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