im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
