Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
