i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
