Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
