Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
