xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
