quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
