BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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