quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My pussy is not your playground.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
