I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
