You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
