It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
