oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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