You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize