I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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