it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
