I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
