I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
