i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
