Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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