Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
